Papyrophobia
by LouLouCullen
Summary: After Edward left Bella alone in the woods that day, Bella's life continued to fall apart around her. With Charlie and her beloved truck gone for good, Bella soon developed a fear of paper. When the only silver lining of Bella's dark days came to her in the form of twenty million dollars and soon after that a golden eyed vampire. Rated M for lang, lemony goodness and blood play.
1. Introduction

I do not own the Characters...well maybe just Gary and Dr. Ash. Oh...I own the plot too! SM is just letting my play with her Characters, for a limited time only...lol!

Papyrophobia

Epilogue

It had been my third week in therapy, since _he_ left me alone in the woods; left me broken, forgotten and near dead. It had been six months, three days, seventeen hours, and fifty five minutes of pure agonizing hell; this is how much time has passed on without _him_.

Time had become enemy number one in my books; seconds passed like minutes, minutes passed by like hours, hours passed by like days, and days passed months. Every month that has passed—every month that will continue to pass by me—felt like years. They say—_he said_—that time heals all wounds. Looking back at all the time that has passed me by in dragging lulls and drowned out deafening silence; yes time was now my enemy—and _one_ of my worst fears.

The time that I have been sitting here in my therapist's too cheery office for nearly an hour; I have been trying to convince myself that the three extremely inoffensive pieces of plain office paper didn't have any effect on me. The truth was, those three inoffensive pieces paper, were also one of my worst enemies; if it were not for the invention of paper_, he _still may have been here or maybe not.

After all I am nothing but human...right?

A/N: So...I literally pulled this story out of nowhere. I was just sitting in my room, reading some Bella/Edward Fanfiction on my cell and listening to music, when right out of no where, I came up with this story. I wrote all three chapters in matter of hours, and soon after that other chapters came flooding into my mind.

I am not going to make this story out to be a 'whoa is me,' or 'why did he leave me?' kinda story, I am so tired of that. This is a simple forgiving and love filled story. I do plan however to take things to a darker level and surprise even myself.

So please enjoy the rambling ideas of my mind and indulge me by pressing that review button and letting me have it...nicely please! Criticism is always welcome!


	2. Enemy Number One & Two

I do not own the Characters...well maybe just Gary and Dr. Ash. Oh...I own the plot too! SM is just letting my play with her Characters, for a limited time only...lol!

Papyrophobia

Chapter 1

It had been my third week in therapy, since _he_ left me alone in the woods; left me broken, forgotten and near dead. It had been six months, three days, seventeen hours, and fifty five minutes of pure agonizing hell; this is how much time has passed on without _him_.

Time had become enemy number one in my books; seconds passed like minutes, minutes passed by like hours, hours passed by like days, and days passed months. Every month that has passed—every month that will continue to pass by me—felt like years. They say—_he said_—that time heals all wounds. Looking back at all the time that has passed me by in dragging lulls and drowned out deafening silence; yes time was now my enemy—and _one_ of my worst fears.

The time that I have been sitting here in my therapist's too cheery office for nearly an hour; I have been trying to convince myself that the three extremely inoffensive pieces of plain office paper didn't have any effect on me. The truth was, those three inoffensive pieces paper, were also one of my worst enemies; if it were not for the invention of paper_, he _still may have been here or maybe not.

After all I am nothing but human...right?

"Your hour is almost up Isabella," Dr. Ash said, reminding me in her usual, patient and gentle voice. Her voice reminded me of Esme's sweet motherly voice; it was pure torture to hear her talk. Even if I did only see her three times a week for a total of sixty minutes. "All you have to do is just touch it...just once...just one time." She encouraged me gently.

I wanted so badly to crumple up the pieces of paper and throw them away, to conker these simple tasks. But the weight of the world sat on each piece and silently mocked me in the worst way. Pristine and white, perfectly flat and cut to exact measurement of perfection; every piece of paper—no matter how big or how small, no matter what colour or size, hell even the type of paper—was wrapped in barbed wire with jagged edges waiting to cut my finger.

Every single piece of paper was waiting to cut open my skin, for that one little drop of blood.

The very same drop of blood that managed to ruin my whole life; with one little tug and rip of a very beautiful and deadly piece of wrapping paper...my life ended and the living hell of purgatory reared it's ugly head to pull me under the imaginary water and drown me. But to my intense disappointment, I found that even I could breathe when drowning.

"Maybe next time," Dr. Ash sighed, glancing at the wall clock on the bright orange south-east wall of her office. "Same time, next week?" She said rising from the plush chocolate leather armchair, she always sat in; I often wondered if she always sat in that particular chair for all of her patient-doctor sessions. I reminded myself to ask every time, I left her office, but by the time I saw her again...I would always forget to ask.

I didn't reply, as I retreated away, as fast as _humanly_ possible from the three little pieces of paper. Stumbling down the corridor, ignoring all of the strange looks from the other people in the building; I very nearly did a face plant into the cement sidewalk, when I ran out the office building door and into the fresh air of freedom. It was luck, I guess, when I just barely caught myself on the newspaper box, bracing myself for that impact as well.

I never bothered hanging around down town Seattle, after my appointments with Dr. Ash; amazingly enough, I wanted nothing more than to get back to Forks, to start the whole process over again.


	3. Home Renovations

I do not own the Characters...well maybe just Gary and Dr. Ash. Oh...I own the plot too! SM is just letting my play with her Characters, for a limited time only...lol!

Papyrophobia

Chapter 2

Thinking of going home to make dinner brought tears to my eyes—always did now—since I had found Charlie dead in the living room in his favourite chair, with eyes closed and the television remote in his hand. I was utterly grateful that Charlie had heart attack, during one of his afternoon naps; the coroner had said that he didn't feel a thing.

As luck would have it, I also ran into a rather large sum of money; all twenty million dollars of it. The lottery ticket Charlie had given me for my eighteenth birthday, as a fun way of showing I was that much closer to being twenty one years of age. A week after I had come into this huge sum of prize money, my beloved rust bucket of a truck wheezed its last breath, while on my way home from Charlie's funeral.

As a self-torture mechanism, I went to the Seattle Volvo car dealership and purchased a glossy and shiny, brand spanking new Volvo...in silver. _He_ was right; it was the perfect car. Quiet and full of power and precision handling and enough air-bag safety, for someone like me.

I also gave Charlie a very beautiful, yet simple funeral; the casket alone, cost almost as much as my car. But it was totally worth it. Soon after the funeral, I couldn't stand to see the bright yellow walls in the kitchen or the furniture that both Charlie and Renee had purchased while they were still together.

With the help of my personal decorator, Gary; Gary was a very flamboyant, bubbly and always happy, single in his late twenties gay male. I couldn't fathom getting a female decorator, it felt as if I would be betraying Esme and Alice; though I missed them beyond words, I still loved them to pieces.

I still loved them—all of them.

Gary and I quickly became friends; something about him, pulled me out of my funk. If I was ever totally ever honest with myself,—which was rarely these days—I looked at Gary as a safe way to handle all of my paper money, receipts and invoices, from all of my purchases.

Plastic was my new best friend.

I knew that I couldn't tell Gary everything about what happened, but I could give him bits and pieces of the truth; thankfully he never pressed on the subject and let my past rest exactly where it needed to rest...in the past. Gary quickly became my shopping partner—again I didn't feel like I was betraying Alice—we took a few day trips to Seattle or Portland; with a few weekend getaways to Vancouver.

It took less time to get from Seattle to Forks, than it did when I had my truck, so I wasn't surprised to see Gary's car in the adjoined parking space in my driveway. "So..."He asked, eyeing me sceptically. "How did therapy go? Did you crush those little evil pieces of paper into little crumpled balls of trash?"

"No."

He sighed, shaking his head a little; abandoning his fabric samples on the coffee table, to pull me into a tight hug. "What if I never get over this?" I sobbed into his muscular chest. "What if I remain this...this, freak that can't handle a simple piece of paper, for the rest of my life? I will forever be known as the only girl in the world who was afraid to die by the proverbial hands of a piece of paper!"

"I can see it now," He chuckled lightly in my ear. "Isabella Swan flattened to death, by a single white piece of legal sized letter paper."

I couldn't help but not laugh at his mockery of me; it did sound rather ridiculous and far fetched. "Has any one ever told you that you're an ass, sometimes?"

"I've been told that I have a rather tight ass." He replied with a smile in his voice.

"Ugh!" I cried, swiftly pulling away from him. "I so did _not_ need to know that, Gary!" He laughed as I made my way to my newly renovated kitchen; it was the first room that had been demolished and redecorated.

After getting all of the proper permits from the city; we knocked down the North wall of the kitchen; leaving a huge gaping hole in side of the house, to add another ten feet in order to make the kitchen not only longer but wider as well.

With royal blue walls, with a silver accented wall, glossy black marble tiles were put up as a backsplash, stainless steel and black appliances. I opted out for a kitchen table and put a massive dark cherry wood island with the same tiles as the backsplash, and a matching wood bar stools. The North wall that we knocked out was now made huge panels of glass, it let in a lot of natural light, making the space look twice the size that it was; with a great view of the forest. The aged and yellowing linoleum tiled floor was ripped out and replaced with dark hard wood floors.

I had nothing but the best appliances money could buy; a dishwasher, a duel, double door oven with six flat top burners, a microwave and electric mixing bowl and blender—it was hard to think of this place as a single person house now.

"Mexican or Italian?" I yelled from the kitchen.

"Surprise me!" he called back, "As long as he's at least five foot six, I'm not picky...you should know this by now." Gary laughed, causing me to smile and roll my eyes.

"Short Mexican, heavy on the spiciness, then...got it!" All I could hear from the living room was Gary's laughter.

A half hour later, we were sitting on opposite sides of the Island, eating enchiladas; with enough sour cream to sink a military submarine in the Atlantic Ocean. After we ate, we cleaned in companionable silence, and returned to the fabric samples that Gary had abandoned yet again on the coffee table.

"So have you decided on a colour scheme for the bathroom, yet, or are we going to start on the living room next?"

"Actually, I was just going to bring that subject up." I chuckled, nudging his shoulder with mine. "I was thinking of knocking out the this wall and opening up the floor plan; painting the walls a dark, rich chocolate brown with slightly oversized white furniture, and adding gold and eggplant purple accents." I suggested, painting the picture in both our minds. "We could get a low to the ground symmetrical squared shaped couch, with plush cushions, and a zebra print chaise lounge chair..."

"Oh...my...god...Yes!" Gary cried in approval.

"We could also get a large frosted coffee table, and little knickknacks for the fire place, we can replace the brick with frosted glass as well. The rest we will figure out a long the way."

It was nearing midnight when Gary left the house, promising me that he would be on my door step early Monday morning to start the work on the living room. I went straight to bed, not bothering to shower or change out of my clothes; I was abruptly exhausted and fell asleep in my panties and bra.

I dreamt of him again tonight...just like every other night.


	4. Missed Calls

I do not own the Characters...well maybe just Gary and Dr. Ash. Oh...I own the plot too! SM is just letting my play with her Characters, for a limited time only...lol!

Papyrophobia

**Chapter 3**

Therapy was much the same as it always was, me staring at the same three pieces of plain white office papers; and again they silent mocked me. It was infuriating and sadly pathetic.

"Do you think you could, just try and move, just one piece?" Dr. Ash asked me, her gentle motherly voice, made my insides cringe in pain and grief, for my vampire mother.

I hesitated for a brief moment; I could feel my lips turn down, and my forehead crease with unrestrained effort. Could I touch just one piece, I didn't have to touch the edges; I could just touch the middle of the paper without getting a paper cut...right?

"I-I-I...I don't know." I replied in a shaky whisper. "What if something happens, what if I cut myself again?"

"Isabella, you cut yourself, just once." She said gently; my insides cringed again, and my heart strings twisted in my chest. "It was an accident, was it not?" She questioned me.

"Yes...but what followed after...it was...—"I could never find the right words, when trying to describe the life altering events after, I cut myself at my eighteenth birthday party—"life altering." _Great job Bella! _I berated myself internally. "Charlie..." A small sob escaped my chest, without my permission.

"Yes, your father's death was a very sudden tragedy, Isabella...but you can't let this rule your life completely; don't you think he would have wanted you to move on? Be happy?"

I suddenly felt like we were not talking about Charlie anymore; Dr. Ash had no idea of my sudden break up, from my vampire ex-boyfriend, Edward Cullen. I never offered any of that information either; as far as she knew my phobia was due to finding my father dead in our home—my home.

The last thirty minutes of my appointment, I cried like a blubbering baby, getting out my grief over my father's death; the papers on the table totally forgotten—for once. I was so tired, by the time my session ended; I went straight home and crawled into bed, and slipped into a semi peaceful oblivion.

I woke sometime in the night, checking my cell for the time. Ten missed calls, twenty text messages and six voicemails. I had missed three from Renee and eight from Gary, I could only imagine what each of my text messages said; Gary worried about me and my isolation from the world. Though he tried his tried his best to break me out of my shell and be one with he world—his words...not mine—and experience life, before it passed me by completely.

I had no plans that included the outside world, I had no desire to travel too far of places or meet new people. Gary learned, quite quickly that I was stubborn as an ox, and could not be bugged from my set plans.

"_Hey sweetie, I was just checking up on you." _Renee's voice said. _"How are the renovations coming along? Why have you not sent me pictures yet? Call me soon, love you Bella."_

"_Bella...I just the paper work back from the city office, we can have an electrician come in and do some re-wiring, and come get a home inspector to come and make sure the houses supporting beams are not effected in any ways...any ways, darling...call me after therapy; crush those pieces of paper!"_ Gary tended to ramble when he got excited; I was actually surprised that he got it all out in two breaths, instead of just one.

"_Bella, its mom again; therapy was over three hours ago, why have you not returned my calls or texts? Call me back right away!"_ My mother was worrying herself into a stressful panic again. When I told her that I was going to stay in Forks, to clean up the house—and maybe one day, god forbid...sell it.

"_Bella...I haven't heard from you yet."_ Gary's voice sounded a little worried; it was very unlike me to not pick up his calls. My mother on the other hand, I missed plenty of those phone calls._"Call me!"_

"_Isabella, it's after six at night! Why are you not picking up the phone? If you do not call me within the next ten minutes, I am sending Gary to check on you; if can't get a hold of you...I am jumping on the next flight to Forks!"_ My mother threatened, in her scary stern mom voice.

I didn't bother to check any other messages; I pressed 'five' on my speed dial. Thankfully my mother answered on the first ring. "Isabella Marie Swan, give me one reason, why I could not fly down there and give you a piece of my mind!" My mother screeched into the phone; I had to yank my phone away from my ear.

"I'm really sorry, mom; I was so exhausted after therapy, that I just came home and fell asleep..."

"I have been a nervous wreck Bella!" She said in her still stern mom voice, cutting me off. "Don't scare me like that again...please!"

"I'm sorry mom," I whispered, feeling insanely guilty. "I talked about Charlie today...it took a lot out of me, and I almost touched one of the pieces of paper mom."

"That's wonderful Bella!" My mother said proudly. "I do understand about Charlie, Bella; but please...please, the next time you are going to do something like this, at least let me know, even if it's just a text, telling me your safe."

"It's a deal mom." I agreed. "Now I hate to cut this short, but if I don't call Gary, he may just refuse to redecorate the rest of my house." I giggled, at the absurd lie.

"Like that would ever happen, sweetie; tell him I say 'hello' and give him a hug from me."

"I will." I told her. "Love you mom." I said before hanging up with her.

Not even ten seconds later Gary's named flashed on my call display.

"Hello, my sexy, hunky piece of tight ass man meat!" I giggled.

"Save those giggles for later, little missy!" Gary scolded; he was annoyed...very annoyed. "I have been trying to reach you for hours; your mother called me, begging me to knock down your front door and hunt you down. I have been making plans and phone calls; I am headed over to your place right now, i am ten minutes away...we will talk when I get there."

"Okay, I'll see you in ten."

"Oh, Isabella," That was not good; Gary only called me by my full name when he was in a tizzy. "Please put a pot of coffee on, we have a very long night ahead of us and an even longer morning." His end of the line disconnected and I groaned.

I quickly changed out of my rumpled top and pulled on a t-shirt; booking it down the stairs to put on a pot of coffee in record time. I heard my front door open and shut, only to find a very frazzled looking Gary.

"What happened to you?" I gasped concerned.

"What happened?" He hissed at me. "What happened? What happened was, someone forgot that we had a shit ton of plans for tomorrow morning! And I can not only get my client on the phone, let alone my best friend!"

"I talked about Charlie today." I mumbled pathetically, looking at the suddenly interesting grains in the hardwood floor boards. "And I almost touched a piece of paper..." Before I could register what was happening, Gary had me up in his massive arms, crushing me to his chest.

"Really!" He squealed, "You almost touched it!" All of Gary's anger and frustration was gone; it was quickly replaced by excitement and pride. "Oh, Bella...this is great news; how close were you?"

"Close...but not that close."


	5. First Attempt Failed

I do not own the Characters...well maybe just Gary and Dr. Ash. Oh...I own the plot too! SM is just letting my play with her Characters, for a limited time only...lol!

Papyrophobia

Chapter 4

It's been a month since, we started the living room renovations, and the bathroom was half done, it wasn't very big; and I didn't feel like expanding a whole lot more than I already had.

It was Tuesday, which meant therapy at three; it was two forty five and I was giving myself a serious pep talk in my car.

"You can do this Bella...it's just a piece of paper." I told myself, "It won't cut you...if you just touch it." I repeated these words to myself a dozen times, before I got out of my car, armed my car alarm, squared my shoulders and marched myself into Dr. Ash's office.

"Hello Isabella, how are you..." Dr. Ash asked me, while her back was turned to me; she was hovering over her desk. I didn't reply or wait to sit down; I marched over to the table and snatched one of the pieces of paper of the table and held it in my hand. I felt brave and confident...for all sixty seconds.

"I did it!" I cried; startling Dr. Ash. She whirled around to face me, with the paper in my hand, shock written all over her face. "I'm holding a piece of paper." As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized what they meant and I freaked out.

I was very nearly hyperventilating; Dr. Ash had rushed to my side, helping me sit in a chair. "What do I do?" I demanded panicking; terror filled me, feeling as if I was being suffocated. I wanted so desperately to release the now crinkled paper in my hand. But I couldn't remember how to work the muscles in my hand, or send my brain the right signals; in order for me too drop it.

"Calm down, Isabella; just breathe and release the paper...it won't hurt you." Dr. Ash instructed me, being cautious of her every move. "All you have to do is drop it."

Suddenly remembering how to move and flex my muscles; I dropped the piece of now half crumpled piece of paper on the floor and threw myself backwards. I managed to trip over a chair and land with a hard 'thud' against the wall. I was shaking, instantly curling my body in on itself; Dr. Ash talked me down for the rest of my session. I stayed an extra half hour today; Gary was picking me up and taking me home. He didn't live very far from where my appointments were; I was still shaking by the time we made it to the car.

As soon as I had my seatbelt buckled, I passed out.

When I woke up later, I was in my bed, with a light blanket covering my body and my shoes on the floor. I looked at my phone, it said it was nearly six at night; I had l slept for almost two hours. Groaning, I managed to haul my ass out of bed, into the bathroom for a very long scalding hot shower. Letting the hot water flow over my body, felt amazingly refreshing and energizing; I did my regular shower routine of wash, rinse and repeat with both my strawberry shampoo and conditioner and just once with my body wash.

Feeling like a robot, I mechanically went through the motions of drying myself off with my big fluffy white towel and then dressed myself in black yoga pants and a white t-shirt and a my favourite hoodie; pulling the hood up to hide myself away from the worlds as best as I could.

I felt like a failure; though Dr. Ash had told me that even though the steps I took today were rushed, she said that I was that much closer to concurring my phobia. I didn't know whether to believe her or not; I had convinced myself that I was ready—that I wasn't afraid anymore—but I guess, I had done such a good job of lying to myself that I had forced myself into a state of denial.

Making my way down stairs, I could smell the comforting aroma of lasagne and garlic toast; but the comforting smell was soon forgotten when an onslaught of questions filled my mind.

Did this mean I had to start back at square one in my therapy sessions? Had I royally screwed myself over? Would I ever get over this ridiculous phobia? What if I could never handle another piece of paper again? Who would baby me for the rest of my life? Protect me from myself and the world I created within myself?

I wanted to be mad, but I didn't know who to be mad at. Was I supposed to be mad at Edward for leaving me? Or Jasper, who _had_ lost control; or Alice who had insisted on throwing me a birthday party, or for her not _foreseeing_ the ghastly turn of events? Maybe I was mad at myself for being so weak, so..._human_. Maybe I should be mad at the world for taking everything I held near and dear to my heart; I had no answers and that frustrated me to no end.

"Hey, honey," Gary's voice pulled me out of my internal struggle. "How are you feeling?"

I sighed, sitting on one of the bar stools in the kitchen; I must have lead myself there, without even realizing it. "I don't know," I admitted feeling ashamed of myself; for putting Gary and Dr. Ash in this position. "I want to be mad at someone...but I don't know who I _should_ be mad at." I told him in a small voice. "I want to get over this...this issue that does nothing but consume my life. Maybe therapy isn't working...maybe, I should just give up and finish the house and close myself away and get a dozen cats." I ranted; I felt the anger creeping back up into my system. "Maybe...I should just lock myself in a room full of paper until I get over this phobia...maybe I should be mad at Edward...maybe I should be mad at Carlisle for allowing him to leave!"

And just like that, my epiphany hit me like a two ton truck going a hundred miles an hour down a steep incline; I was mad at Carlisle. I was mad at Carlisle because he l_et_ Edward leave me, because even though he called me his so called 'daughter.' The only other father figure, I had ever had in my life was missing and I could do nothing to bring him back; oh sure I could spend most of my fortune travelling around the world to track him down—but as soon as I made the choice to track him down, Alice would 'see' it and they would be gone once again.

It would be like a game of cat and mouse...but if I got Gary to look him up for me...Alice wouldn't be looking for Gary. They didn't even know who he was or that he even existed in my life. It was right then that my plan had come to start; I was going to get myself better, hunt him down and give him a piece of my mind. It didn't matter that he would be angry with me, for tracking him down and go tromping back into his life...no I would say my peace and be done with it.

"I see that look in your eye Bella; you get that look when you have devised a plan in your head." Gary smirked at me, sipping his cup of coffee. "What's the plan?"

I beamed at him, knowing that whatever I decided to do, he would follow me. "I need your help in trying to track someone down for me; he works in a hospital—I don't know which one, or where, but I need you to find him for me."

"And who may I ask is this doctor friend of yours?"

"Doctor, Carlisle Cullen," I said in my matter of fact tone. "We need to find him at all costs; as you know money is not an issue...phone every hospital on the planet...just don't mention my name. I want to surprise him."

"I better, be getting paid for this," Gary joked, as he served me a piping hot slice of homemade lasagne with a piece of garlic toast on the side.

"How about you become my full time assistant; I can pay you ten thousand dollars a month, plus whatever your wage is for being my personal decorator?"

Gary's fork clattered to his plate and he looked as though he were having a stroke; I was almost tempted to call an ambulance, but I gave him a few more seconds to compose himself, then a few minutes. Finally nearly five minutes later he unfroze and closed he mouth, only to open it again; no sound came out, but clearly trying to communicate with me.

"Well..." I finally said after the sixth minute had gone by..."Are you going to take me up on my offer or not?"

**A/N:** So...how am I doing so far? Do you like things so far? I had planned on taking this story in a completely different direction, but this way seems to be so much better. I decided I didn't want The Cullen's' to come back to Forks. I wanted Bella to seek them out herself...a road to healing herself.

How do you think the Cullen's are going to react to Bella and Gary tracking them down? Will Edward even be there? Will Bella have to hunt him down too?

Hit that button below and review!


	6. I Thought I Lost You

I do not own the Characters...well maybe just Gary and Dr. Ash. Oh...I own the plot too! SM is just letting my play with her Characters, for a limited time only...lol!

Papyrophobia

Chapter 5

"Are you fucking serious?" Gary finally choked out in a strangled mystified voice. He was looking me up and down as if he were trying to confirm that I was indeed sitting in front of him; making sure that he wasn't dreaming or hallucinating. "Ten thousand dollars, a month and you're going to pay me, my regular fees for decorating your home?"

I only nodded. Gary looked sceptical of my proposal; I hurried to reassure him. "Gary, nothing will change between us." I said gently. "We will still be friends; we will still go out shopping together." I needed to explain myself better; to help him understand, why I wanted him to work for me. "It's just that I trust you Gary...so much—and you know how hard it is for me to trust anyone, for any reason—I know it's pretty pathetic that you are my only friend right now, but I am hoping to move past all of this bullshit in my life and move on. So please Gary...take the offer; if the amount of money makes you uncomfortable, we can negotiate the amount. I will even take a few hundred dollars out of your pay to rent the room, so you don't have to travel all the time."

Without a word Gary walked out of the room, out my front door; got into my car and left.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if I should call him or just let him be; I also didn't know how long I sat in the kitchen just staring at my plate of half eaten food. Finally after what felt like hours, I cried. And not the huge cries like you have just fucked up the last good thing in your life; I was full out screaming and crying. My throat was raw and sore, my chest and ribs ached from all of the pain I had brought upon myself by crying, and my lungs burned.

I was far beyond hysterical; I was balancing on the very thin line of loosing my sanity and becoming a catatonic heap on the kitchen floor. I had single handily destroyed the last good thing in my life—first Edward, then Charlie and then my truck—I had managed to alienate everyone around me; to cut ties with everyone that ever meant anything to me. My friends from school, my friends from Phoenix; the only things I had managed to keep in my life was my mother, her husband Phil and Gary—but it seems like that was gone now too.

"Bella!" A familiar voice cried. The sound of wet rubber soles squeaking on a hard surface, running towards me, a hard 'thud' beside my head, and a pair of arms lifting me off the floor. "Oh, god Bella," The frantic and panicked voice cried again; I felt as if I were floating. "I'm so sorry Bella; I was a complete fucking idiot to walk out like I did last night." Gary was here? Here in my house? "Can you hear me Bella, oh god, oh god, Bella; I'm so sorry." Gary sounded like he was crying; why was he crying? "We need to get you to the hospital Bella."

"I'm fine," I whispered, hoping he was able to hear me; my throat was raw and sore. It hurt to swallow and talk. "Just...don't leave me," I begged him. "Just take me to bed." Gary complied, putting me in my bed; he curled up beside me, holding me while I slept the remainder of the day.

When I awoke, I did so with a start, nearly falling out of bed; my mind was foggy, from last night's events...or was it two nights ago now. I had no clue. I found a glass of water on my bed side table and chugged it down; I was so thirsty.

I turned in my bed to find Gary gone, but I could hear noise from within the house, so I knew he was still here. I stretched, wincing at the dull aching pain in my ribcage; stripping myself of my clothes, and wrapping my naked body in my terry cloth bathrobe, I crossed the hall to the bathroom.

I wanted nothing more than to have a nice hot relaxing bath; but I knew if I wasn't down stairs in the next twenty minutes, Gary would be ploughing through the bathroom door to make sure I was in fact alright. So I quickly shampooed and conditioned my hair and washed my body, trying to enjoy the hot water on my ribs; the warm and moist air felt good on my throat and lungs too.

Shutting off the water, I opened the glass door, standing on the bathmat; I wrapped my hair in a towel and my wrapped my robe around my body and made a dash for my room, hoping to contain some of the still lingering heat to my body.

Dressing myself in a pair of low rise, dark wash skinny jean, and a crème off the shoulder fluffy wool sweater and pair of nude six in heels; the lace white strapless push-up bra and matching thong panty set went with my outfit rather well. Hastily drying my hair with my towel, I threw the towel in the hamper; I bushed my hair out, letting it dry naturally, I placed a black satin head band on and opened my bedroom door only to find Gary standing there looking as though someone killed his puppy.

"I can call myself a cab, if you want me to leave."Gary whispered standing outside my bedroom door. "I'm so sorry Bella," He apologised. "I was just in shock last night; I wasn't thinking clearly, you know I would never just up and leave you...right." He explained in a panicked rush of words. "I drove all night, when I realized I had just up and left you, the other night—in your car no less—I came straight here, in a panic. I couldn't believe that I actually just up and left you. I feel like the biggest fucking asshole on the face of the planet! Please Bella...forgive me; I don't know what I would do without my best friend..."

"Gary...I" said trying to accept his apology, but he cut me off, before I could get any other words out.

"Then when I arrived here...I found you limp on the floor, sobbing and half coherent; I didn't know what to do Bella. I should have known better...I just up and left...oh god Bella..."

"Gary."

"I thought you were dead..."

"Gary!" I shouted, trying to get him to shut up; the pain and regret screaming in his eyes, told me that he had beaten himself up enough for the both of us. "I forgive you." I told him in gentle voice. "I was just so scared, that I had driven you away with my offer...I thought that maybe...I had insulted you or angered you by trying to buy your friendship or something, because I am a miserable excuse for a human being, that needs someone else to handle all of her paper work!"

Anger glinted in his eyes now, his jaw clenched and he balled up his fists by his side. "You are not a miserable excuse for a human being Bella!" He hissed through clenched teeth. "You are dealing with a traumatizing past, and I for one, commend you on how far you have come...though you have had some set backs. I don't care about having to deal with all of your paper work; I rather do it than see you suffer alone and in silence. I am always going to be here for you Bella, never doubt that." He pulled me into his arms, wrapping me into a tight hug. "And I will take you up on your offer, and not because I feel guilty about the other night either; I like working for you Bella. I want to help you get better and help you find this doctor Cullen; I want to see my best friend at peace with herself, with her past and move on. If it will help you get you that much closer to getting over you phobia...then I'm all for it."

"Thank –you," I whispered, hugging him back as tightly as I could; in that same moment, I felt a little lighter than I had in these past seven months, and I was extremely grateful that I had Gary to help me heal. "Now," I said pulling away from him. "Have you found anything out on his whereabouts?" I asked him, hoping that he had found something to point us in the right direction.

"Have I ever let you down before?" He replied smiling at me. "He is in New York, Ithaca, working at the New York general hospital. I called there asking for a doctor Carlisle Cullen, telling them that I have heard from a previous hospital that he has worked for that he is one of the best doctors in his field." He grinned; I chuckled at his enthusiasm. "Of course, when I told them that, they of course spilled every bit of information they had on him...medically of course."

"Great work, Gary!" I laughed, giving him a high five, he looked so proud of himself; I was proud of him too.

"So...Bella," He said in a questioning tone, "What do we do now?"

"We start by getting me better." I replied feeling confidant.

**A/N:** So now they know where the Cullen's are. Do you think Bella will have an easier time recovering from her phobia? What do you think Carlisle will think when he sees Bella for the first time in seven months?

Click that little button below and review!


	7. Music To My Ears

I do not own the Characters...well maybe just Gary and Dr. Ash. Oh...I own the plot too! SM is just letting my play with her Characters, for a limited time only...lol!

Papyrophobia

Chapter 6

I had spilled my guts to Dr. Ash in therapy yesterday, telling her of the epiphany I had brought upon myself, the very same night I had left her office in a bumbling crying mess of nerves; she was extremely pleased to hear this news and told me I was that much closer to concurring my Papyrophobia.

I was ecstatic to hear this news; as was Gary, we even went out on a little shopping trip to celebrate. I treated myself to the exact outfit I was going to see Carlisle in—though we had not set ant type of date up for that yet—and maybe even the rest of the family.

My family; god it was wonderful to think those words in my head.

The navy blue chiffon strapless, Chanel empire waist, mid thigh, hugged my curves in all the right places dress was a must have; paired with the absolutely stunning pair of matte six inch black closed toed Christian Louboutin pumps. I was going to be a knock out—I could admit that to myself now, with the help of Gary, of course—I wanted to see the shocked face of Carlisle and maybe even the reset of the family.

The living room was now fully complete, so was the bathroom; I mentioned to Gary that I wanted to leave the basement for now. I was so tired of renovating the house. I gave Gary full permission to decorate Charlie's old room; now his room, how ever he liked, and he did.

I made a very good effort, when it came to working with my Papyrophobia; I was able to touch one of the pieces of paper on the table in one of my sessions for a whole two minutes, without having a complete melt down, and again it lead to another shopping spree of celebration.

I was even able to handle small paper tasks at home. I was able to pick up the mail from the mail box, along with the news paper; when my mother witnessed this for her self, when she and Phil came to visit, she cried tears of joy for a full thirty minutes.

It was a full year since the Cullen's had fled from Forks; it was almost a whole year without Edward—though I missed him more than I could ever express and loved him just as much or more—and the rest of his family. I still had a very strong anger towards Carlisle.

When I came to the realization that Edward had left me while loving me, I thought it would have caused me more pain, but it didn't; I always _knew_ something like this was going to happen—I just didn't think it would have been so soon or the way that it had happened.

I knew from past conversations that Edward would love me for the rest of his limitless existence; I knew that if I was hurting this badly, then he was is so much more pain than I. My heart had not healed—not even close—but my heart hoped that he would give his heart to me once again. I only hoped that he would be happy to see me again...that this time he would stay with me again.

I still wanted to be a vampire—that thought had never left my mind—because I had hope everyday that one day we would cross paths again, no matter whom found who first.

My next few sessions with Dr. Ash were amazing! I was able to hold all three pieces of paper for my whole entire session. She was entirely astounded; she said she had never seen any one person, concur a phobia like I had. She expressed to me that she was a little concerned that I may fall back a few steps; but I was fully confidant in myself now.

"So Bella, how does it feel to have come this far?" Dr Ash, asked me smiling.

"I never thought, I would have come so far, so fast; once I had my little epiphany all those months ago...I just felt a little lighter." I told her. "I had told Gary that I was angry the day I left your office a blubbering mess...but I didn't know _who_ to be mad at. So when I came to terms with who had angered me, everything else just fell into place."

"So you know who you are mad at." She stated simply. "So now what are the steps you are going to take in helping you get over this anger?"

I knew I had to be careful of my replies now, for multiple reasons; one I didn't want Alice getting any sort of idea of what was going on, and two I had a secret that must be kept exactly that...a secret. If I gave her too much information, she made her own decisions on contacting Carlisle about my condition and made him aware of my arrival.

This could not happen!

"I would like to keep that information to myself, please." I whispered. "I have my reason as to why I will not disperse any of this person's information—name or other wise."

"Why, may I ask?"

She sounded nervous as to why, I would keep this information to myself; but the cost of this information was far too high a price to pay. It was priceless information to me. I was fiercely loyal to those who deserved my loyalty, trust and respect. So I gave her the only answer I could think of, without divulging too much other information. "Because loyalty is something that can not be bought; only earned, and for as angry as I am at this person...my loyalties still lie with this person." I told her bluntly; I hoped I wasn't confusing her with all of this 'persons' talk—if I wasn't careful...I may end up confusing myself.

"I can respect that," She sighed defeated. "I wanted to let you know that I am cutting your sessions down to once every two weeks now, you are doing so much better Isabella."

It was like music to my ears; I left her office ready to face the world and a one Dr. Carlisle Cullen.

**A/N:** So were getting closer to the Cullen's now! Are you excited as I am? I can't stop writing, I am so excited! What do you think of Bella's killer outfit? When did she get the balance to walk in heels? Why is she not tripping over herself, you ask?

You will find out a lot faster if you press that little button below and review!


	8. Operation Find The Cullen's Part One

Ido not own the Characters...well just Gary and Dr. Ash. Oh...I own the plot too! SM is just letting my play with her Characters, for a limited time only...lol!

_Chapter 7_

_Everything was set up. _

_I would be coming face to face with Carlisle in just a few short days; Gary had called every major hospital in the all of the major States: Alaska, Colorado, Connecticut, Michigan, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, and Vermont. Every place I knew they had once lived; a place I knew they would return to. _

_A safe place; a place, I knew they would go to avoid the sunlight as much as possible._

_Gary ended up finding Carlisle in Ithaca, New York. I had no way of knowing if the other Cullen's were there with him or if they were else where; but I had to know—I had to find Edward, at all costs—I couldn't picture the Cullen's living apart from one another; it just wasn't a plausible reality to me. _

_Gary set up a false appointment with Carlisle—to keep Alice in the dark as much as possible—then once it was time to see him, I would switch off with Gary at the last second before we were to enter Carlisle's office, and then meet back up with him at a location, pre-determined before we left for New York._

_Emmett was right...I was diabolical._

_I was growing more and more nervous, as we came closer to the D-day—Gary's words...not mine—but I managed to keep myself distracted; working on my curing my _Papyrophobia with Dr. Ash and at home with Gary. I also found that Yoga was a good way to keep myself calm; it also took a great amount of concentration, so all in all, I was killing two birds with one stone! It didn't hurt that it helped my dubious balance issues either; it was like a blessing from the Gods!

I talked to Dr. Ash quite a bit, about taking the steps; without reviling too much to her about our plan—all I needed was for her to call, Carlisle and spoil everything or for Alice to pick up on something—I would be so crushed and furious; not to mention, I would have to start my search all over again.

"Are you nervous?" Dr. Ash asked.

I am sure my facial features, screwed up in a rather odd way, because Dr. Ash, burst out laughing; that only confused me more.

"I'm sorry!" She chuckled, trying to right herself. "I didn't mean to laugh at you," She clarified meekly. "It was just the look on your face; I didn't ask you if you were nervous because I am oblivious to _that _fact. I have to ask, _because _it's part of my job to ask."

"Oh," Was my brilliant response, still trying to process what had just happened. "I guess that makes sense. I am nervous." I told her after a few seconds of gathering my thoughts. "But not like...I don't know; maybe not the way I thought I would feel nervous? Does that make any sense to you?"

"You're afraid that after everything is said and done, it will all be for nothing? Am I right?" She asked me with a small knowing smile. "You are afraid of the 'what' and not the 'who'." She clarified.

I slumped in my seat with relief; I wasn't imagining my own nagging feelings, and it wasn't just me that could see them. "Yes!" I sighed feeling that the weight that had been pressing down on me for so long...lifted a little; leaving me able to breathe a little easier.

"How are your exercises going?"

"Great!"

"Good, well our hour is up. I take it I won't see you for a week or so; but remember if you need me for anything. Day or night, Isabella; don't hesitate to call me or have Gary call me—if Gary is the one calling me, should I fear the worst?" She asked me in her stern and serious doctor tone of voice, while her eyes scrutinized my facial reaction.

"Yes," I whispered, unable to lie to her. "It could very well blow up in my face." I said with no more volume in my voice than before. "But I am trying to dwell on the positive and not the negative." I told her honestly. "Because at the end of the day all I have is that hope—and Gary of course." I smiled at my own little joke.

I was able to walk out of Dr. Ash's office with a renewed sense of hope that everything wasn't about to blow in my face.

By Gary's order, I took a few sleeping pills to help me sleep through the night. My body was wound so tightly inside, that I felt nauseated every time I moved more than five feet. While I was waiting for the pills to kick in to my system, I double and triple checked that I had everything that I needed for my week stay in Ithaca—with or without the Cullen's—Gary and I had a shopping trip planned; it would take us a week just to shop.

"Get into bed Bella," Gary sighed when he found me pawing around in my luggage for the fourth time. "You are going to stress yourself out to the point that you will make yourself sick." He tried reasoning with me; his hands gently pushed mine away from the open suitcase, and zipped it up. "I _know _everything you need is in here Bella." He said picking up the massive piece of luggage. "Relax...please for me, Bella, get into bed, the pills I gave you should kick in soon." Gary demanded in his 'I'm so not kidding Isabella' tone.

I huffed at him, and stuck my tongue out; I knew arguing him was like arguing with myself. We were both unnaturally stubborn; Doing as I was told, I crawled into my huge fluffy bed, getting comfy for the night.

"Sleep Bella," Was all I remembered hearing Gary whisper to me, before flicking off my bedside lamp; I woke to the rare treat of, sunshine leaking through my sheer white curtains.

Stretching my tired muscles in my very comfortable king size, postropedic mattress; I relished in the sunlight, throwing off the covers, sunning myself. Then t hit me, like a swift kick to the gut; I was going to Ithaca, New York in search of the Cullen's! I didn't know whether to laugh with joy or cry in fear or simply expel the nonexistent contents of my stomach all over my bedroom floor.

Of course Gary, being Gary, waltzed into my bedroom with a knowing smile on his face, holding out a steaming cup of coffee.

"I knew I hired you for a good reason." I chuckled taking a small sip of the boiling hot liquid, scorching my throat, and enjoying the bitter aftertaste it left in my mouth, "You make one hell of a cup of coffee."

"Perfect every time!"

"Are you sure we are talking about the same thing, Gary?" I teased him; chuckling at the mock hurt on his face, his hands clutched under his chin. "Okay...enough with the theatrics Laura Ingles. I need a shower, now please leave!" I burst out laughing at the shock written across Gary's face.

Leaving my room with a pout on his lips; I knew Gary had everything under control, and all that I needed to do was freak out for the next twelve hours straight.

Placing my coffee cup on my bedside table, I threw off the rest of my covers and bolted to my huge en suite bathroom, having a near scalding hot shower. Twenty minutes later, I was clean, dry, and smelling like strawberries; I had no intention of doing anything elaborate with my hair, until we actually got to out Hotel in New York So I just threw it up in a messy bun, and added a little bit of hair spray to keep my hair decent through two airports, a car service, and a hotel check in.

I threw on a comfy pair of dark wash skinny jeans, with a royal blue shirt and my favorite black cardigan; my silver ballerina flats were also the most comfortable and super easy to slip on and off for the people in customs.

While I was running around getting ready to leave, Gary was running around the house, checking all of the locks, making sure everything was unplugged or turned off. Gary had called the post office on Friday to confirm the hold we had a hold on our mail until we returned to town; as well as the newspaper.

I had stopped by the Police station yesterday, to tell Chief Mark—he was the Deputy, before Charlie had passed away—that Gary and I were going out of town for a week and a half. Though we still had an alarm installed, it was mainly for my piece of mind when Gary and I didn't live with each other.

"Are you ready to go Bella?" Gary hollered from the kitchen. "We need to go in ten minutes or less, if we want to make out flight on time; it's a three hour drive to Seattle." He reminded me.

Was I ready to go? Was I ready to face my fears? Was I ready to face the one who had broken my heart? Was I ready to face the man who let the man I loved, walk out on me...without any guidance? Was I ready to take my phobia by the reins and concur what ever was left of it, and completely rid myself of this ridiculous phobia?

I felt ready. I felt strong. I felt like I could take on the world; well maybe not quite yet...but you get the idea, right?

"I'm ready!" I hollered back, bounding down the stairs with my mini Coach backpack, in my hand. "Let's hit the road!"

A/N: So we're one step closer to the Cullen's! Are you getting as excited as I am to see what happens? I mean...I know what happens, obliviously.

I would also like to that my amazing Beta Rosyln Malfoy. 3

Do you think that Bella and Gary can slip past Alice? How do you think Carlisle is going to react to Bella finding them in Ithaca? Do you Edward will be there, or will he be searching for Victoria?

Please Review...the more reviews...the faster I post!


	9. Operation Find The Cullen's Part Two

_I Own Nothing Twilight_

_Chapter__8_

_Was I nervous as all hell to see Carlisle? _

_Fucking, rights I am! _

_I felt so bad for poor Gary. He put up with every mood swing, every threat I had ushered at him, and every punch in the arm; he put up with so much more that anyone ever should—a huge Christmas bonus was coming his way, this year._

_On the way to the Seattle Airport, I was sick at least three or more times; I was so nervous. But Gary being the true blue friend and trooper that he is, rubbed soothing circles on my back, and pulled over numerous times; we had just __barely__ made our flight._

"_Are you feeling better, sweetie?" He asked me soothingly. I knew my constant upset stomach was upsetting more than just me._

"_Getting there," I moaned. My head resting on the very spacious head rest; first class seating had a lot to offer—with the right price, of course—it wasn't long before I had downed a few Gravol with a glass of Ginger Ale. "I think once these Gravol's kick in, I will be in dreamland." _

"_I think they are working, Bella." Gary chuckled beside me. "Your speech sounds a little...shall we say...compromised." I think I gave him the finger, because he was laughing at me. "Sleep Bella, we have a five hour flight ahead of us. I will wake you, just before we land."_

_I didn't respond. I was far too gone; dream land had crept up on me faster that I had anticipated. _

_Bella, wake up!" Garry hissed in my ear, while he jarred me awake, about twenty minutes before we had to land; it gave me time to use the lavatory and make myself presentable to the outside world. "Feel better?" He chortled as I took my seat beside him._

_I felt rather awful, for having slept so well. "We are ordering in room service tonight." I grumbled. "I feel even worse than I did before we left Seattle Airport; I am not leaving my room, unless the hotel is burning to the ground." I told him, resting my head on his shoulder; he kissed my head and patted my hand in comfort. "And even that is debatable...especially if I'm sleeping."_

"_Not funny, Isabella!" Gary hissed annoyed, rolling his eyes._

_He knew I was joking, but he hated when I joked about death—especially mine—Gary won't say it out loud or to my face, but I know he is terrified to come home and find that I have given up on life. _

_It is true that I have come a hell of a long way, in a short period of time; but with my power to repress and easily compartmentalize my thoughts, getting past my fears was the hardest part._

"_Chill, skittles!" I huffed, using his nickname, he hated. _

"_Whatever!" He snapped._

_I felt badly for ruining our trip, before it had even started. "I'm sorry, Gary." I whispered as tears sprang to my eyes; I tried my hardest not to cry. "I'm just so nervous; you know how I get...not that's any excuse. " I rambled; another side effect of being nervous. "I didn't mean it! I swear..." My traitor tears spilled over the rims of my eyelids; I tried to wipe them away before Gary saw me, but it was a wasted effort._

"_Would everyone please, adjust your seats, so that they are in the upright position and buckle your seatbelts; we will be landing shortly."__ The stewardess asked in a very polite but rehearsed manner; it made me wonder, how many times a day she had to repeat herself._

"_Awe, sweetie," Gary whispered, reaching over to brush away my tears. "I'm not mad, Bella; I just hate it when you talk that way. I feel like I'm gonna loose you, all too soon."_

_I just nodded, keeping my head on his shoulder; his massive hand gripped mine as we made the decent towards New York's Airport. It took less than twenty minutes for the plane to safely touch ground. _

"_Thank You for flying American Air Lines; Welcome to New York. It is a warm afternoon at a pleasant eighty eight degrees. Please be sure to gather all of your belongings, before departing the aircraft; those who need assistance or need help gathering their belongings from the above compartments, please let a stewardess know."_

"_I don't need your hired, help." I snickered quietly into Gary's shoulder. "I have my very own personal Gary." _

"_Damn rights, you do!" He agreed, glaring at the stewardess; who had her back turned towards us. "No one does my job but me." He declared proudly/_

"_So are you going to get my carry on?" I giggled in my seat, at his rather funny display. "Or is the other..."_

"_Watch it missy!" He half heartedly scolded me. "Or I may just quit on you!"_

_I couldn't contain my laughter at his extremely poor attempt at a threat; I knew that Gary would never quit on me. I was nearly in hysterics the entire time we exited the plane. The stewardess looked at me like I was crazy._

_We walked through the Airport, keeping up with, the rest of the busy travelers, and airport personnel; baggage claim was not as busy as I thought it would be which was nice. _

_It took us about an hour to get through customs, and pick up our rental car; an Aston Martin Vantage Convertible, sleek and black. It was going to turn a few heads, for sure; it would definitely fit in with the Cullen car collection, for sure—once I made Edward buy me one for my own personal use._

_The drive to our Hotel was fabulous. We were staying at the Statler Hotel; it was luxurious with a massive spa, a dinner service that was twenty four hours, seven days a week, with a dessert menu that made my blood sugar spike—just looking at them._

_I made sure to have Gary and my room's on the same floor, but split up a little bit; my room was room nineteen eighteen—coincidence...I think not—and Gary's room was nineteen fifteen. My room was absolutely stunning; Gary was jealous! _

_As promised, I had no intension of leaving my room, after we had both settled in for the remainder of our stay; Gary had come back to my room after he was done unpacking his things, and we ordered one of everything off the dinner menu and only two desserts. _

"_I'm just going for a quick shower before our dinner gets here." I informed Gary, as I gathered my black yoga pants and a matching black tank top. "Why don't you pick out a movie for us to watch; something..."_

"_With action?" Gary piped up, happily. "Or are we going to torture ourselves with a hard-core chick flick?"_

_I couldn't help the chuckle that slipped past my lips; I had been biting my bottom...but I couldn't help but notice the attempt of romantic humour, leaking in Gary's voice. "Action does sound tempting." I made a show of trying to contemplate the choices of movie genre. "But self torture does sound good, right about now." Gary was doing his best to try not burst out laughing, his hands slapped over his mouth, desperately trying to muffle his girly little giggles. "Self torture it is!" I announced; poor Gary threw himself onto my bed face down, giggling hysterically._

_I just rolled my eyes at him and went for my shower; we had at least thirty minutes until our food arrived. My bathroom at home was much like the one here in the hotel; with a massive shower, with multiple messaging shower heads, and a in-shower seat that would sit two full grown men rather comfortably...it was a home away from home._

_Once I was lobster red from the scalding hot water that helped relieve my knotted and extremely tense muscles, I shut off the water, wrapped my hair and body in a towel and as quickly as I could got dressed, to preserve some of the leftover heat from my shower._

"_Just in time for dinner," Gary said as I opened the bathroom door. "Hope your hungry boss lady!" He chuckled nervously; Gary was not a nervous person._

_Taking a look at Gary again, I noticed that he wasn't looking at me anymore. No, Gary was making googly eyes with Mr. Tall, dark and handsome; his nametag read Jacob. Sneaking a peek at Jacob, I could see that he was making the same googly eyes back at Gary; it was like I wasn't even in the room._

_I hated to do this to Gary but I was starving, and I really didn't feel like eating with main door open and in front of a complete stranger. "Um, everything looks great!" I said breaking the silence in the room. "I have your tip; just let me get my purse..."_

"_I'll give him my tip, Bella." Gary said flustered, his cheeks going beet red; Jacobs cheeks were no better. I couldn't choke back my laughter fast enough before it burst out of me. "Wait...I mean, I will give him a tip...not my tip." I choked back another round of hysterical laughter._

"_Of course," I squeaked out, trying to contain myself._

_Pulling his wallet out of his back pocket, Gary handed Jacob two crisp hundred dollar bills; Gary had more than enough money to waste, and I was not one to judge. _

_`Have a good night Jacob," Gary breathed out, handing Jacob the money; their hands touching for a few seconds than necessary. "I hope your working tomorrow morning..." Gary said shyly, his eyes never leaving Jacob's. _

"_I don't, work tomorrow." Jacob said glumly, his bright smile faltering; Gary looked crushed. "But I do work, the next day...only until lunch time though."_

"_Perfect!" I squealed happily; both men jumped at the sound of my voice. "Would you be able to give Gary a little tour of the city tomorrow?" I asked Jacob brightly. "It's my birthday coming up, and I all but begged him to get me a birthday present in New York. We have a meeting at five in the afternoon at the hospital...but before Gary has the morning and afternoon off." I babbled._

"_I do?" Gary looked at me dumbfounded. "I mean...of course, I do. I totally forgot!"_

"_Actually after our meeting Gary—which is only a half hour or so any ways.—take the rest of the day off and shop for my gift?"_

"_I'll pick you up...at one thirty?" Jacob replied quickly; his expression was so hopeful that my heart ached for them both. "In the lobby?"_

"_Yes, I will be there!" Gary said, as happy as I had ever seen him before._

_I had an inkling feeling that Gary may not be working for me much longer; or we would be moving to New York in a few months. I made a mental note to get a hold of a realtor, for the very near future; I am sure if Gary and Jacob start dating, he's not going to want to leave—I would never make him leave either—Gary was going to need a condo, here in the Big Apple._

_Jacob finally left, after being here for much longer than he was supposed to be._

_Gary on the other hand was nearly glowing, he was so happy. "Oh Bella!" He cried, darting across the room, and giving me one of his massive bear hugs, spinning me around in a circle. "Thank you, Bella! He's so cute and perfect...when we touched it was like sparks or electricity or static...or something! I think he's the one...Oh god Bella!" _

"_Need...to...breathe...Gary." I wheezed out, unable to move my hands._

"_Sorry!"_

"_Don't apologize," I chuckled breathlessly, as he placed me on my feet. "Now can we eat, please? I'm starving!" _

_We uncovered all of the dishes on the table, and placed all the lids in the kitchen sink for later; we ate a little bit of everything, off each plate. Gary of course ate nearly twice as much as I did, polishing off more than half the two desserts._

_Our movie was forgotten. We talked about what he thought he would be doing with Jacob tomorrow. Gary was so excited; I could already see the love blooming for Jacob in his eyes, and I knew that Gary would treat Jacob like a king, and fulfill his every wish or desire. _

_Now the only question that remained...was Gary, everything Jacob has hoped for?_

_I could only pray that he was._

_Early the next morning Gary came prancing into my hotel suite—we had a key card to each other's rooms, just in case of emergencies—with the biggest love struck smile, I had ever seen. Gary couldn't shut up about what he wanted to do with Jacob today; we even made up a fake birthday gift list for me, and spent an hour registering some items on an online catalogue._

_Gary and I were shameless!_

_At noon Gary ran to his room to shower, shave and get dressed; only coming back for me to approve his outfit. We agreed to meet in the hotel lobby at four o'clock, so we could meet up for Gary's fake doctor's appointment with Carlisle._

_I didn't have time to lounge around and pout; Gary made me take myself a spa day. I had a massage scheduled, along with a seaweed wrap, a mud bath and a facial; with a light lunch, endless glasses of champagne, and strawberries dipped in three typed of chocolate. _

_After I was thoroughly relaxed and pampered for the day, I was ushered off to the hotel Salon to get my hair and nails done; I made sure that the stylist pinned my hair up and away from my neck—it was Edward's favourite place to hide his face or inhale my scent or just plain spend time kissing my neck._

_The aesthetician did a marvellous job on placing on set of gel nails with a sparking silver tip; every nail was perfect and would look stunning against my dress._

_I was in a blissful heaven._

_By the time I was finished my appointments for the day it was time for me to hurry up stairs and get dressed. The navy blue chiffon strapless, Chanel empire waist, mid thigh, hugged my curves in all the right places. The dress was a must have; paired with the absolutely stunning pair of matte six inch black closed toed Christian Louboutin pumps. _

_It was the out fit I knew I wanted to be in when I saw Edward for the first time in months. _

_At exactly four o'clock I stepped off the elevator and into the main lobby; Gary was waiting for me by the front doors, with a very happy Jacob in tow. I felt bad for having to pop their blissful love bubble; but it was time to work now. They could be back in each other's arms in matter of thirty minutes. _

"_Wow...Bella." Gary wolf whistled across the lobby; a few people—mainly men—turned to stare and ogle my beautiful body. "You are gonna knock him off his feet; you look stunning boss lady!"_

"_He's right, Ms. Swan." Jacob murmured shyly, his cheeks flushing a delicate pink. "You look phenomenal, who ever this guy is one lucky son of a bitch!"_

"_You two are too sweet." I giggled at their compliments. "And please Jacob, please call me Bella; Ms. Swan is only for clients and strangers." I told him honestly. "If you are any friend of Gary's, you are certainly no stranger to me."_

"_Ready?"_

"_Hell no! Now lets a move on." _

_It was too little too late to turn back now._

_Jacob walked us to our rental car, and helped me into the passenger seat, before running around to help Gary into the driver's seat; with a quick peck to the lips, Gary started up the car and we were off towards the first Cullen I had seen almost a year._

_Walking down the hall towards Carlisle's off was harder than I had originally thought it was going to be; I had poor Gary's hand in a death grip, while we checked in with Carlisle's secretary._

"_I'll meet you in the cafeteria in a while." Gary whispered in my ear, before he left me standing in front of my vampire father's door._

_Taking a deep breath to clear my head and calm my pulse, I steeled myself to open the door and step though, coming face to face, with a very shocked and surprised Carlisle; mine and Gary's plan had worked perfectly._

"_Hello Carlisle," I said smiling. "I'm terribly sorry for the mix up with Gary...but I couldn't let Alice catch wind of my plan; __before you ran off again__." _

"_Bella?"__ He choked out, his eyes still wide and disbelieving._

"The one and only," I giggled darkly, walking forward. "Still as sweet smelling and radiantly beautiful as the day you left me!"

A/N: So...I have decided to give you guys a serious cliffy! Sorry...I am almost at three thousand words, and though I could go on for another three thousand or so, I really needed to stop it somewhere.

Also...I have decided to extend this story past my limit of ten chapters or less. I have come up with quite a few ideas that I can't seem to resist putting into the story line. I am sure for those of you who like/love this story, it will be great news; other's may not feel the same way...but Oh well for them!

Love you my dear sweet readers...!

LouLouCullen :)


	10. The Unexpected Meeting (Carlisle POV)

**Papyrophobia**

Chapter 9

Carlisle's Point Of View

"Dr. Cullen," My secretary's voice floated though the phone receiver. "Your five o'clock is here, would you like me to send him in?"

"Of course Stacy," I replied.

This was my last appointment of the day; the patient I was seeing today had called all over the world, looking for me. Apparently, he was given information that I was a spectacular doctor with excellent credentials; I will admit that I found it a little flattering.

_When I had gone home the day the phone call came in; Esme had chuckled and agreed with the gentleman. "Well of course, you are the most handsome, intelligent, brilliant doctor in the world my darling." She cooed to me, while we lay in bed, just holding one another._

"_Feeding my ego...what did I do to deserve such a spectacular wife?" I teased, kissing her temple._

_A low hiss was heard from the Edward's room. _

"_Forgive us son," I pleaded in my thoughts. My son was suffering, intensely so; his only love was thousands miles away, doing go knows what, with god knows who...to say it scared me to death, was a _severe_ understatement._

_But I would respect my son's wishes; even though I, nor anyone else—asides from Rosalie—didn't agree with them. He was so stubborn, and not up to changing his mind for any reason. Bella's safety, Bella's humanity, Bella's fragility, and Bella's happiness; was all that mattered to my son._

I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard Gary's voice from outside my office door. "I'll meet you in the cafeteria in a while." He sounded nervous, I guess under the circumstances, his nervousness was normal; I knew only the information given to me his medical file. A few bumps and bruises, a broken arm, a sprained ankle; nothing to worrisome to overlook—I found it a little odd, but maybe all of his information wasn't in his file...for what ever reason, I had no clue.

Taking a deep unneeded breath, I caught a scent that was all too familiar to me; but almost impossible that _she_ could be here in Ithaca! I was suddenly desperate to call Alice; to check if she had seen anything out of the ordinary with Bella. With a quick shake of my head, I expelled the thoughts from my mind; if Edward or Alice caught these _'visions'_ in there mind, all hell would break loose.

So when I heard the door open swiftly and close just as swiftly; I held my breath in order to keep my thoughts from playing tricks on me; that was until I heard her voice, for the first time in what felt like a hundred years.

My heart nearly beat in my chest.

"Hello Carlisle," She said smiling—alone. "I'm terribly sorry for the mix up with Gary...but I couldn't let Alice catch wind of my plan; _before you ran off again_."

I was utterly speechless; Bella Swan was standing not even ten feet away from me; looking as though she had just walked straight out of one of Alice's fashion magazines.

Bella had grown into a beautiful young woman; her hips were slightly wider, she had curves where her slightly boyish figure had been, she even looked a few millimetres taller—even without the six inch heels—her hair was longer and darker, and her cheek bones were a little higher. She did look a little bit older, but only by body changes; Bella's skin was just as blemish free and utterly flawless as the last time I had seen her on that fateful night.

How much had changed in the seven months we had been gone?

"Bella?" I managed to choke out, after what felt like an eternity; I had done nothing but gawk at her as she stood in front of me. For one of the few times in my existence...I was utterly speechless and shocked to my very core.

"The one and only," She chuckled walking forward. "Still as sweet smelling and radiantly beautiful as the day you left me!" She hissed at me furious; her normally expressive chocolate brown irises were nearly black and filled with nothing but fury, hurt and loss. "It's truly amazingly what can happen to one, when her family abandon's her in the middle of the night, her human father dies not even a month later, her beloved truck a week after her father's death and ridiculous amount of money falls into her lap."

I was utterly frozen. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. Edward was going to have a fit when he found out—that is if he didn't already know.

"You see my therapist told me I needed to confront the person who utterly destroyed me." Bella sat in the chair directly across from me; while I sat in my own chair, still as stone. I was terrified of moving too fast, towards her; frightened that my youngest daughter would disappear in the blink of an eye. "You," She spat, jabbing a finger at me. "You are responsible for my life falling apart around me; the person responsible for my phobia of paper—to consume my life, leaving me totally and utterly isolated and alone!"

"Bella..." I whispered feeling so guilty; I feared I would choke on it.

"NO!" She shouted.

I was momentarily stunned. I didn't want Stacy running into my office to find Bella here and my _supposed_ patient gone from the room—I had to calm Bella down.

"You don't get to talk until I'm finished! _You_ let him leave me, _you_ let the hundred year old vampire take control and make choices..."And she was right... "If _you_ had just parented the seventeen year old boy he is forever frozen as...he may have seen things a little differently. But _you_ didn't; you didn't _care_ that I was _left alone and helpless_..._you didn't care_ that Charlie died in his sleep of a heart attack..._you didn't care_ that I was the person to find my father dead on the couch!"

"I needed _you_, and _you_ just left me; I _needed _my other _father_, I _needed_ the only doctor I have ever _trusted_, I _needed_ my family! I _needed _my_ vampire father_ to hold me while I grieved, I _needed_ my father to hold me through my bouts of nightmares, I _needed_ my father to help me though the most _ridiculous_ phobia on the face of planet! I couldn't even _look_ at a piece of paper without hyperventilating for fuck sakes!"

My god! What had we done to this poor sweet girl?

"I isolated myself from everything and everyone for weeks; my friends, my mother. Gary is the only one person on the face of earth that has stuck by me though all of my bullshit. To help me along the way; I had to hire him as a personal assistant just to touch anything paper...because I couldn't! Do you know how utterly pathetic I have felt."

"Bella..." She pushed out of her chair and walked towards the door to my office. "Don't...go...please!" I begged her, trying to wrap my mind around what was happening.

"I'm in town for the remainder of the week." She said standing by the door. "Do me a favour and tell your _son_; to get his god damn fucking, act together and grovel for the rest of his unnaturally long life!"

With that she left.

I sat at my desk still as stone, my mind reeling, until my phone rang. "I've called a meeting," Alice's voice sounded alive again. "She's angry, but she will forgive...everyone and she will be one of us, one day soon."

I didn't wait a second longer, I ran to my car, a little to fast for a humans pace and peeled out of the parking lot of the hospital; I made a record time driving home, in nine minutes flat.

"Carlisle, what's going...? Is that...do I smell...no it's impossible!" Edward hissed furious, darting towards; pinning me to the wall. His senses all over the place, the burning pain in his eyes, nearly broke me completely. "What have you done?" He growled livid. "How could you..."

"How could I what Edward?" I replied, desperately trying to hold onto my calm. "Go against your wishes...I didn't; Bella found me! Now release me and I will explain everything." I explained; Jasper's wave of calm helped me regain clear head, and Edward's as well.

Everyone made their way into the living room, sitting together and alone.

"I was utterly speechless, when I saw her; she's grown into a beautiful young woman..."

"She always has been!" Edward hissed at my misuse of words..

"I know this Edward." I sighed. "This would go by much quicker, if would just listen to everything I have to tell you."

"Well...tell us then!" Esme squealed beside me, jovial that her youngest daughter was only a quick drive away from where we were currently living.

"She's angry..._very _angry; and rightfully so." I started. "But her anger isn't directed at Edward; it's directed solely at _me_. Bella is angry with me for letting the hundred year old vampire rule you and not parent the seventeen year old man that you essentially are. She's also had an extremely hard time from what she screamed at me."

"What happened?" Edward asked in a low agonized voice, his eyes blazed in agony and despair, his mate was suffering more than he had ever hoped. Edward had hoped that Bella would have moved on...pain free.

"Charlie died of a heart attack about two weeks after we left—she found him in his chair cold and dead—her truck died a week later and..."

"And what Carlisle?" Edward moaned looking utterly dejected. "What are you hiding from us?"

"Bella's therapist told her to deal with the person responsible for breaking her; it seems that Bella has developed a very extreme case of Papyrophobia, after the string of these events."

Pap...o...what?" Emmett asked confused; the others looking just as confused.

I nearly crippled when Edward's barely audible sob reached my ears. His siblings looked towards the noise as well; Alice and Esme flew to his side to comfort their son and brother, in his time of need.

"It's a phobia of paper." I informed them, not able to rip my eyes off of my suffering first born son. " Bella developed a fear of paper and anything paper related. From what I understand, she couldn't even look at a piece of paper for months; it's only very recently that Bella has gotten over _some_ of that fear."

"Why paper?" Rosalie questioned. "And why so severe?"

"Her birthday party, the one action that caused her life to crumble around her, and spiral out of control so badly she developed a phobia; from what I understand of phobia's it can be extremely life altering. Some people never get over their phobia. She did have quite a few colourful choice words for you Edward; I am to relay a message to you." I chuckled; earning a death glare from my wife. "Bella asked me to relay to you that she will be in Ithaca for the rest of the week, and for you to get god damn fucking act together and grovel for the remainder of your unnaturally long life."

Of course Emmett burst out laughing, unable to help himself.

"She still _loves _you Edward; she _wants_ you to seek her out. I think she is staying at the Statler Hotel, with her personal assistant...in separate rooms of course."

"I...don't think..." He croaked; his voice muffled.

"Then I will," I replied with conviction. "Bella is angry with me because she needed me in more ways than one and I failed her—more than a father should ever fail their daughter— and she _needs_...not even needs; she _craves _a father figure, Edward. Someone who loves her; she has so much pent up anger and sadness."Bella's agonized and fury blazing eyes were forever etched into my perfect photographic memory; the adult in her was angry as hell. While the child within her was frightened and alone; though I could also argue with myself that Bella's wasn't helpless...she was in desperate need of guidance—my guidance—Bella had needed me and I had failed her.

I had failed them both...again.

"But in other way's she has changed so much. She said and I _quote_ 'Yes, it's me Bella, the one and only...sweet smelling and radiantly beautiful as the day you left me.' The woman was wearing a dress that I am most positive Charlie would have killed her for wearing—a dress that _I _would never let her walk out of the house wearing—and six in heels...and she didn't even teeter."

"Room...nineteen, eighteen," Alice giggled with a smug look on her face. "A cozy and intimate, little table for two; in the back of the hotel restaurant and a rack of lamb for one." Alice sighed happily, giving her older brother a squeeze. "She's absolutely stunning and she's coming here tonight!" Alice squealed bouncing in her seat. "Ah...I thought that might happen; Edward dear brother, it seems you will have a change of heart..."

"No...Absolutely...not!" Edward thundered, glaring daggers at his favourite sister ripping himself away from her; Jasper hissed his warning at his brother's out burst at his wife. "It will not happen!"

"Ah...but you have already decided, and you know you have...she _will _be one of us. You won't be able to deny her _anything_ again...ever! Emmett and Rosalie have a _lot_ of competition coming their way...in the very near future!"

"I enjoy a little competition." Emmett grinned, pulling his Rosalie closer to his massive body. "Especially; when it includes my Rosie," He boasted proudly.

I could only smile and shake my head in defeat.

I could only hope and pray that tonight went well enough for all of our sakes.

A/N: So I wasn't really going to put this chapter in but it literally popped into my head, and by the time I had finished typing, I had over fifteen hundred words and an almost full chapter.

I am hoping you all like it...I am so nervous when it comes to doing other character's point of view. I really don't think I am that great at doing a character as great and sophisticated as Carlisle...so please, please, please tell me you liked this chapter!

Reviews = A happy Lou Lou

A happy Lou Lou = Faster updates!

I'm serious people...please review!


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